*100 Beautiful Days of Motherhood: 33
Two. That’s the number of times this week I set the tea kettle on to boil and walked away, only to return some time later to find it bone dry and smoking. The second time, the handle, which was made to be impervious to absentmindedness, melted off in slow agony and dropped onto the burner.
The children smelled the burning plastic and asked if I was making dinner.
I was not.
I stared at my tea kettle. The heat had caused the metal to swell abnormally. It was as fat as a little piggy and much more likely to explode. Black smoke drifted lazily up from the tar-like goo on the burner.
This was concerning to me, not just because of the fact that I very nearly gave my children an unplanned lesson on shrapnel, but because it said something about me that wasn’t good. A woman who burns her kettle dry two times in five days has issues.
My issue is this: I have trouble resting. I have so much trouble resting, I can’t even slow down long enough to brew a cup of “Quite Moments” tea. I run around like the house is on fire (which, ironically, was very nearly a reality) because I feel like I have to work my way to a place of rest.
But the work is never done and rest is always elusive because I live at work.
My “office” is strewn with socks and dirty dishes and way more Thomas the Tank Engine tracks than is professional. And while my coworker is cute and my boss is great, the subordinates tend to run around half naked and spill milk. Everywhere I turn, I see reminders of the things I have yet to do, have not done well, or have not done at all.
Sometimes, I just want to put on a pair of heels and commute. Preferably to Hawaii. Perhaps then I could find a way to be done at the end of the day.
But of course, being done is not the point and work is not the problem. The problem is not the dishes in the sink or the floor that needs mopped. The problem is I lack the faith to rest the way God commands. I lack the faith to be still, to be quiet, and to pursue the things that are more important than dusting the furniture.
I lack the faith to trust that my identity in Him is secure, even if my work is not done.
There will always be work. But here in the middle of the mess, I am commanded to rest. Rest, true rest, is what I need. Not like when I go to bed and dream about cleaning my kitchen. Not like when I finally get all the rooms straightened up on the same day and I collapse into the couch, exhausted. Not like when I finally check everything off the to-do list and feel like I’ve earned it.
True rest is a grace. It sees the work left to do and nourishes me anyway. It sees that I am not yet done and rewards me with strength for the course. It resets the priorities that have gotten scrambled and brings my focus up from the temporal to the eternal.
I forget that sometimes, and I fight against it. I act like God is punishing me, somehow, by calling me to a place of rest. I kind of think that if He wants me to rest, He should find a way to clean my kitchen first. But He doesn’t do that. He leaves the mess, and asks me to leave it too.
So I put the kettle on, but I struggle with the fear that if I take some time off, my entire world is going to descend deeper into chaos and disorder. Who is going to do the dishes while I sip my tea, God? I sneak off and try to put away some laundry while I wait for the water to boil and pretty soon, I find myself face-to-face with a charbroiled kettle.
The truth is, I can never work my way to rest because rest is an act of faith. It requires me to act on the promise of God that one day, the meaningless repetition of earthly work will end. All that is lacking in me will be filled up, and all that is undone will be completed. I will no longer live at work.
I will live at rest.
So tonight, I am putting the kettle on. It’s a little rusty now and I can’t quite pry the lid off because the knob burned off. I am not done with my work. I guess that’s why it’s the perfect time to act on the belief that even in my imperfection, God’s promises are true. Not being done is the best reason to practice being at rest.
Love it!
I’d like to send you a tea kettle that turns off automatically, If you email me your address, I will buy one for you off of Amazon and have it sent directly to you. I so understand about the tea kettle. I nearly burned my house down several times until I got this one that plugs in, and you can remove it from the base. I am English and a real tea drinker. There is something about a soothing cup of tea and time alone with the Lord.
You are so sweet! I can’t believe you want to do that for me! I will e-mail you with my address.
So funny how God has been talking to me about rest too. He rested even though He is never tired, never sleeps, never gets weary. So. rest must mean more than just sleeping (although as stay at home moms we like to equate rest with sleeping!) right? I am still trying to figure out what rest looks like in my life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on it…I am going to sink my heart into them and meditate on what He means by rest.
Come on back and share them with us! There is so much more that could be said. It is an interesting topic to me, and obviously one I need to work on!
I will.
And can I just say how I LOVED that you were transparently honest about how a mama’s work follows her around 24/7. I too dream of putting on a pair of heels and commuting to somewhere else.
Well, most days I am content with where I am and those other days I just get overwhelmed by the amount of me that is needed to finish up the projects!
{Raises tea mug…fourth one today} To finding out what is the grace of His rest…
Julia up above is my aunt…she really does want to send you a tea kettle(0:
That is so sweet! I will message her with my address. I am getting so spoiled!
One of the great keys of living that God has given me this past year is the grace of meditation. I do it twice a day for about 1/2 hr per…It is a great companion and teacher who specialize in rest.
It’s so funny . I think the best we can do is realise that the work is never done ! So instead of trying to get to the far flung destination known as Workdon, we should just be present in the moment ! And then we won’t feel so guilty about 5 mins having a cup of tea xxxenjoy your cup of tea I think I’ll have one now even though I’m surrounded by dust ,flying laundry and breakfast dishes! It will all still be there in 5
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Sometimes I reheat my coffee 4 times before I give up. The same cup. Gross and ridiculous.
Yesterday, a baby was sick and forced me to nap with him. God forced me to lay down in the afternoon. And how I fought it… as I learned these same lessons you wrote about here.
He is kind and good, making us rest, and promising our rest.
Thank you for your blog today. I struggle with this same issue. My husband is constantly telling me to “leave it until tomorrow”, “spend time with us”. It’s so hard! I long to sit and rest and spend time with my husband and daughter but a lot of times that feeling of needing to finish the house work is just too strong and I can’t. Your post today has really spoken to my heart. Thank you.
I enjoyed this so much! Sharing it on FB! Been there, burned my kettle dry, too. Literally and figuratively! Rest is hard, esp. when your work IS at home, like you said. But it is possible to carve out those moments of alone-time–even if it’s in the tub!
Oh my! Yes! “I will no longer live at work. I will live at rest. ” Love that!! I know that do-on-more-thing feeling all too well. Oddly enough I’ve learned that the best way for me to live at rest is to get up earlier in the morning and spent time with God. Funny how less sleep actually produces more rest.
I can totally relate to this! A mother’s work is never done! LOL I enjoyed reading your thoughts about taking the time to rest. It is important to start each day with a quiet time and resting in God time. Including putting your family before your work-for example taking those few minutes to read to your children, or snuggling with your husband while he tells you about his day. A great post!!!! Thanks for sharing
Oh, Kristie, I SO know what you mean. Ugh. And yet, even so, my stomach is churning while I sit here on the couch typing this comment because I’m not up doing something else, and I haven’t gotten nearly enough done today (true, but so not the point).
I’ll be praying that you can find your rest this week. And that I can too.
Thanks so much for sharing! I have the same “rest” issues just different circumstances. See, I work full-time AND have an in-home baking business. I get up, take the kids to school, drive an hour to work, drive an hour home, feed the family and then go back to work in my kitchen. “Rest” is a word that rarely fits into my vocabulary. I feel guilty because I don’t get to spend quality time with my husband and children (AND God), nor do I “get” to do laundry or clean house regularly. I’m blessed that my husband helps with these things, but I also stress because as the mom and wife, I feel like I’m letting my family down and I know I’m letting God down. There is always something to do and the only real rest time I get is between the hours of 1am and 6am…and even then, my body tends to fight it for whatever reason. You would think my body would want the rest as much as my mind does, but it never fails that I’m up 2-3 times within the 5-6 hours that I’m in bed. I keep telling myself that it’s only temporary until the business takes off and I can quit my full-time job; however, I think back over the years and it seems that there was something else before this, and something else before that, and so on. Like I said, it’s always something and it’s a constant struggle for me. Thanks for blogging about this…it’s definitely a major prayer and I appreciate your encouragement and authenticity!
I have a wonderful kettle. It pops when it is done boiling, and turns ITSELF off. Beleive me after 5 fas kids and all kinds of distractions as a pastor;s wife, I know all about burned kettles, and yelling smoke alarms!=) Hang in there, rest in Him, and 20 years from now it won’t matter and you wll wonder why you were running around the house so much.
love you. Bev
Oh, yeah. Thanks for chiming in, humbly & eloquently, on a subject God has been hounding me on. A follow-up, perhaps, on some times of chosen rest? I need to see how it happens, in the middle of the mess.
Reblogged this on That's the Brandi Talking… and commented:
From “Truth from Trent” blog…
Oh no, I’m sorry! I was doing this from my Kindle…it is clunky some times and somehow I got switched. Random!
Haha! That’s okay.
Oh, thank you! Just last night I told my husband that no matter how hard I work, I feel like I am never done, never good enough. I love this, “I lack the faith to trust that my identity in Him is secure, even if my work is not done.” I am His.
I must remind myself of the same thing. “I am His.”
Thank you for your transparency and insight! I have really been struggling with this lately. I only have one child at present time (toddler), but it still seems like every time I turn around I am faced with one more thing screaming “failure” to me – failure to keep the kitchen clean more than 30 minutes, failure to do all the “simple” projects that should just take 15-30min but end up taking days and weeks, failure to spend enough time with my spouse, failure to play enough with my daughter and do all the developmental games I know will help her learn and prepare her for life, failure to get meals ready on time all the time…. Somewhere in the midst of this I am supposed to be resting and enjoying time with our Heavenly Father and the One who is more in love with me, His Bride, than is possible for my spouse to ever be – and I am convicted of one more failure, the failure to prioritize and put God first every day. I just put my daughter down to nap and I was going to work on the curtains that have been in process for months now and need to go up to stop the constant draft from our bay windows, but instead I have been encouraged by you to go warm up that cup of tea I made 3 hrs ago and sit down with my Bible first and spend time with the One who doesn’t look at me and see Failure, but Beloved.
I think you might have a secret camera in my house. Last week, I left breast milk in a pot of water on the stove and… well… it was gross. I’m saving this post for my wife and I to read.
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